


Fix You

by resentmentface



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, NYADA, Season/Series 03, Series Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-17
Updated: 2012-12-17
Packaged: 2017-11-21 08:09:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/595478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/resentmentface/pseuds/resentmentface
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn and Kurt’s rejection from their respective schools has hit them hard. Neither boy expected it, anticipated it, could have prepared for it. But maybe together, they can move past it. Basically, 1300 words of pure word vomit from my incredibly unimpressed brain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fix You

**Author's Note:**

> Written after the S3 finale and being upset with the outcome, I kinda ended up just word-vomiting onto the page because of feels, and... this was the result. Thought I'd post it on here just in case anyone wanted to read it. :)

The house is quiet. Too quiet. Finn stumbles through the hallway, bags under his eyes and head pounding. He hasn’t slept properly in days, mind too full with rejection, that damn letter weighing heavily enough on him that he can barely even think straight. Too much is on his mind, thoughts of Rachel fleeing to New York to chase her newly-reignited dream of attending NYADA, of joining the army so he can actually  _do_  something with his life, redeem his father and make everyone proud. Too many plans changing, nothing certain, all of it culminating in nights upon nights of unpleasant insomnia. 

So he stumbles down the stairs to the kitchen, preparing two mugs of warm milk, body aching with exhaustion. He waits for the beep of the microwave, and once he’s got the mugs in hand, he returns upstairs – this time, though, he’s not heading for his room. 

Instead, his feet lead him to Kurt’s, where he’s sure the other boy is. And as he’d assumed, he is, sat cross-legged on his bed with an envelope clutched tightly between trembling hands. His face is flushed, eyes rimmed red as he stares at that letter with a glare that seems as if it should light the thing on fire. He doesn’t look up at Finn’s approach, doesn’t start when he sets the mugs down on the bedside table, and doesn’t even flinch when Finn’s there, leaning against his side tiredly. 

“You okay?” He mumbles out, barely even awake enough to speak coherently. Kurt remains frozen, before his shoulders shake, his breath catches, and a single tear escapes, making its way down his cheek. 

“About as okay as you are, I’d guess,” He replies, equally quiet. Finn sighs, snaking an arm around to hook Kurt’s waist, pulling him close. It’s silent, neither boy needing speech in that moment, each other’s support enough for the time being. Kurt’s face somehow finds its way to Finn’s shoulder, tucking into the crook of his neck, and Finn can feel his shoulders shaking violently now. He’s crying. And honestly, in Finn’s opinion, he has every right to. 

Because, while Finn is heartbroken over his rejection, over finally deciding on his path in life and having it snatched away just as quickly, it’s something entirely different for Kurt. He’d been hoping,  _dreaming_  of getting into a school like NYADA for years. And his audition had gone over  _so well_ , Finn hadn’t even been worried about him not making it in. So for Kurt to find out that he hadn’t? Finn can’t even imagine how that would feel. He can’t sympathize, so instead, he just wraps his arms around Kurt and held him. 

“It hurts,” The smaller boy whispers against Finn’s tear-soaked throat, voice thick. “This whole thing, it hurts so much, Finn. I shouldn’t… shouldn’t have even  _tried_. As if I’d get in. I’m not talented enough, don’t have the presence… And anyways, since when do things ever go right for me anyways? It was such a ridiculous dream. I did this to myself, and… and it  _hurts_.” 

“Hey,” Finn whispers back, rubbing Kurt’s back in soothing little motions, keeping him pressed close. “Don’t… God, Kurt, don’t even say that. Don’t even think for a  _second_  that you’re not talented, ‘cause you’re the most talented person I’ve ever met. And that’s including Rachel. You’re  _amazing_ , Kurt, and… God, I’m so freaking  _sorry_ , Kurt…” He grips tightly at Kurt’s sweater, feeling his own eyes starting to well up. 

“How… H-How did she make it in, then, and not me? If I’m s-so  _talented_ , why did I get rejected from NYADA, while Rachel gets accepted, even though her audition was so terrible she didn’t even m-make it through the first verse without choking?” Kurt asks, sounding at his breaking point, and Finn doesn’t blame him. He would be there too, if he was Kurt. “So obviously, I’m not as talented as you think, Finn. Stop trying to tell me I am.” 

Kurt pulls back then, sitting opposite Finn looking absolutely miserable. He swipes at his cheeks with the sleeve of his sweater, looking away. A sniffle, then a sigh. “I just… For  _once_  in my life, I wanted to feel something other than rejection, you know? To feel  _accepted_ , like I’m worth more than just the occasional scrap of praise. How many solos have I gotten in Glee? How many competitions have I sung in? How many has  _Rachel_?” He sighs again, face buried in his hands as he continues. “… You’re going to think I’m an awful person for saying this, but… I thought that maybe, just this once, for the first time in my life… I’d get something that Rachel Berry didn’t have. Getting accepted into NYADA… I was sure I would, that would be it, that would finally be my thing, but…  Instead, Rachel gets the acceptance letter and I’m left feeling worse than ever before. How is that even  _fair_ , Finn?” 

And Finn doesn’t even have a proper response to that. Because it  _isn’t_  fair, not in the slightest. Even as Rachel’s boyfriend, he knows that in the end, whatever Rachel wants, Rachel gets. To him, it’s like the universe showers rainbows and golden stars onto her, while the rest of them get shit all. And while at first, he’d seen it as a product of her determination, now all he can see it as is something that’s causing his little brother to feel the way he’s feeling now. And even though it’s not her fault… He almost resents her for it. He wonders why the universe couldn’t just give Kurt a break for once, instead of always giving one to Rachel. 

He’s brought back to the moment, however, when Kurt sniffs again, looking so broken that Finn just wants to pick up all of the tiny little pieces of him and put them back together, fix him. “It’s so selfish of me,” He starts, voice soft and raspy from the crying. “But I just… For once in my life, I want something Rachel can’t have. But that’s not going to happen. I’ll forever be in her shadow, wanting what she has but never having.” 

And it’s that that makes something  _click_  in Finn, something he hadn’t even known was there, and when he finds himself leaning forward to press his lips to Kurt’s own, soft and parted ever so slightly and  _totally_  not expecting it, it’s… Weird, yes, but not exactly something he feels he doesn’t want. Kurt’s hurting just as much as he is, if not more, and having him like this in this moment… It’s like they’re both sharing something, sharing more than just the kiss, and it almost lets Finn forget about everything else for a second.

He feels Kurt press his fingers to his cheek tenderly, awkwardly, as if not sure what to do with them. He can still feel the cool wetness of the tears on Kurt’s cheeks, and he presses his own palm there, wiping the streaks away and feeling impossibly soft skin under his own. There’s so much want, need, an utter  _helplessness_  as they deepen the kiss, Finn feeling Kurt’s teeth graze gently against his tongue, and it’s not long before the two of them are touching, mapping out the others’ body with tentative fingertips, needing each other to ground themselves in the moment. Both so broken, lost and unsure of what the future holds, it’s as if this moment is the only one they know for certain that they have control over, and as they quietly, ever-so-slowly begin to undress each other, it just feels… Right.

And afterwards, when the two of them are left sweaty and worn out, snuggled together under the covers, warm milk left completely forgotten on the nightstand beside them, they know it  _was_  right, in every sense of the word. It doesn’t fix things – it barely even  _changes_  things, doesn’t even make a dent on the myriad of problems they face – but even so, it helps. They needed it, needed  _each other_ , and that’s all that matters. 


End file.
